I’m beyond bored and unmotivated this morning! I should be in New Orleans getting drunk! Instead I’m semi worrying about my midterm tonight. As soon as I’m done with this entry I’m going to get started on it.
So I’m meeting all sorts of new people, which is cool. Um I guess I just wasn’t expecting to be making friends when I already have my foot out the door. But it’s nice! I already got invites to a few different events. It’s also looking like I’ll probably finally get to meet the person I’ve been dreading to meet.
I came into contact with this really sweet girl named Jill. She was supposed to cover a concert with me and the company I work for sent me her email address. As we got closer to the date of the concert we started to chat on aim regularly. It turned out we have a lot of the same interests and even a similar sense of humor. A day or two before the show I emailed her my pic so she would know who to look for and she sent me a link to her page. It was then that I came to realize that she was friends with V’s girlfriend, Cole. And not just friends, they were, to my dismay, close.
I admitted that I knew V, that we had been ‘good’ friends for a while, and that I had recognized his gf’s pic on her page. This revelation made her trust me more than before. She, not knowing V very well, assumed that if I was cool with him then I must be a cool trustworthy person. I on the other hand became weary of her friendship. Her loyalty would always be to Cole, no question. They had after all known each other for God knows how long and I was simply a chat buddy who would no longer move on to anything more.
On the day of the show, as fate would have it, she had a midterm and couldn’t make it. I believed that it would be the end of that. But I was wrong. She continued talking to me. She even had my cell # and called me a few times before I changed service. I realized that with Cole gone away to live with V in San Diego, she was left with the void of having that girlfriend to shoot the shit with. Enter me, V’s “mistake”, to fill said void and offer her advice and an ear to listen to her problems.
She’s never pushed me to meet up with her. I certainly would not. I can’t help but feel weirded out by the whole thing. I can’t be friends with the enemies best friend. Not that Cole presents a threat to me anymore, or that she’s an enemie for that matter. I hope V and Cole are happy together. But that doesn’t mean it makes my relationship with Jill any easier…
We’ve actually been at the same shows a couple of times but we’ve “managed” not to run into each other, partly due to the fact of my over cautiousness. I don’t think it’s fair to her. She doesn’t know V and my past. If we did start hanging out together I’d feel like I feel now, that I’m lying to her. But if I told her what would she say? Why do I even care if I scare her away? I shouldn’t give a fuck right? I’m not sure what I’m trying to prove?
All of which leads us to the current dilemma. She wants to meet up with me at the No Doubt show this summer. She’s even hinted at me giving her my new # so that she can call me when she’s there. Today she asked to buy a ticket from me if I had an extra one. Perhaps I’ve avoided her for too long? She’s really a nice person. I enjoy our little chats now and then. I’m just afraid she’ll hate me once she finds out the truth. Oh well.
On a brighter note, it’s Mardi Gras everyone! Time to party it up, get drunk, and show some tits!